In a car.

I like to go on a car ride. I don't enjoy driving, but I love sitting on the passenger side and just talk to the driver (usually Scott or my parents) and listen to music. I think you get to know someone a bit better when you have a conversation in a car. I like the close atmosphere that a car provides. When in a car, conversations seem to flow naturally.

I especially love the drive when we are getting food.

Driving around in his pick-up truck and listening to his ipod is one of the most enjoyable time we share, especially on a warm day with the windows down. I also like driving around in the night time when everything is cooler and quieter. Music plus food plus good weather make the drive to school, work or anything enjoyable and fun.

On the other hand, when i drive, I like to be alone. I LOVE listening to music and driving by myself because it truly is a ME-Time that I barely get. I never blast the music but I listen to music louder than usual when I drive alone. I don't sing, but I feel the lyrics and the melodies.

Although the recent gas price is burning a hole in my wallet and the pocket, I enjoy driving myself to school because I get to listen to music by myself for 20 minutes.

The point is, good music is always a must. Good music can make anything better.

Yes I sleep with stuffed animals.

Yes, I do. I have 8 stuffed animals with me on my bed. I don't care if it sounds creepy; I like them and they rock. Especially Mr. Teddy.

Yes, I know; the name itself is already creepy. But that's what I named him when I got it back when I was 9. He's the only gift from my biological father that I still see everyday. Other gifts sort of disappeared.

He's the head honcho of the stuffed animals on my bed-- it has the most sentimental values out of all.

Anyway, today's blog is real short because I need to get to school real early tomorrow, or I should say today. The bottom line is, stuffed animsl are awesome.

MIYU

My dog Chobi

In early March, my boyfriend and I adopted a Siberian Husky puppy. We figured that it would jsut eat, poop, sleep and be cute. Too bad we were wrong.

Not only does this monster chews through every electrical cable in sight, it likes to flip over water bowls and tear out the pee pad.

She loves to chew on everything. Especially-- and so stereotypically-- shoes. But she's still dumb and cute enough to get her nose stuck in it.

But we do get our revenge by making her dress up like a Russian vavushika (or however you spell it).

She also farts a lot. And those farts smell really bad to the point where we open all the windows and still plug our nose.


But all in all, Chobi is a gal who's impossible to hate. <3
Though only four months old, she truly entertains us.
<3

Being this hurt was unexpected.

I've been dumped.

No, My boyfriend and I are doing well, thank you. But I've been dumped by someone I thought was my best friend. I just hate myself for being so hurt by that girl-- I haven't had this much emotional pain since--God knows-- forever. I don't really need to explain what exactly happened since I gave details in the last entry, but MANN this hurts! I know that she feels NOTHING about this matter and she has just moved on to her other, newer and "closer" friends (though they've known her for less than half the years that I've known her). I need to stop feeling so attatched and realize that I've got to move on but it's just really hard when we had been such good friends. I just started college and so far I do not have much friends there (though I do have friends, but not the ones that I would call on weekends to hang out). I hate myself for acting like a little girl but I just can't deal with this right now.

What hurts me the most is that our friendship meant nothing to her.

While I'm here hurt and disappointed on the verge of tears, she is laughing and having a good time with her friends. While I'm questioning the meaning of ANY frienship, she is uploading pictures from her fantabulous weekend on MySpace.

Am I just too sensitive? Are frienships that disposable?

I really don't want to let this bring me down, but I just can't help but to feel sad and hurt.

Thank goodness tomorrow is Monday-- the more shit that I got in my personal life, the more I can focus on school.

I guess i have to let time heal me-- until then, I'll just have to be honest with my feelings.

And damn, I hate this sentimental crap!

MIYU

Bugged

For few weeks, there has been some personal problems that have been bothering me. I won't go into details, but pretty much it's a conflict of interest and I'm beginning to doubt that the relationship is reconsilable.

As I ate dinner with my old friend, she made me realize that the reason why this person--let's just call her B-- and I have been getting into conflicts with one another because she is still in high school, but I'm not. Her life is all about her colorguard team, boys and school dances. My life centers around school, journalism, the paper and the future.

I'm not saying that high school years are not important-- well, actually, I am. Honestly, those years do not affect any aspect of your college life. Maybe it does for those who studied like hell and made it into some prestige schools, but for the most part, incoming freshies realize that no one gives a damn about who they went to Sadie Hawkin's dance or who was the captain of the swim team. It really doesn't matter.

Though this is only the second semester in college for me, I know that I've changed a lot since last June. I'm not the hard-headed Miyu that I was back then-- I'm more open to new people and things, and I have better understandings of the world in general. B, on the other hand, fails to understand that I've changed and that there is life outside her little comfort zone called high school. When I try to make a point across, it's always me "attacking her" and that I "start shit."

What disappoints me the most, however, is that she is acting like I'm some kind of a disposal friend. It's like, if I'm not there, she has others to fill my shoes. And that's fine if that's the way it is. But after being her "best friend" and going through some high school drama together for 4 years, I feel cheated and hurt that B can pretend that those years meant nothing. And if that's the case, I feel stupid and angry at myself for wasting those years.

We have not spoken to each other in a week. I don't think she'll ever call but I'm honestly sick of always making the effort to patch things up. If the friendship ends like this-- so be it. I'm sick of pretending to be the "old" me and I am sick of her making me feel this way. If she wants me in her life still, she can call me. Otherwise, it's her loss. She can realize how I felt when she starts college next semester.

Ah, life.

MIYU

My name is Miyu.

Say it with me here-- mee you.
That's how you pronounce my name.
Over the years I've had people butcher and modify my name over and over-- Once you get it, it's not that hard to say it, but for some odd reason people find my name to be a difficult one.
I remember when I was around 9 years old, I was very insecure about my name because no one ever remembered it (I guess it's kind of hard to ask 4th graders to remember anything, actually). So one night my dad tells me, "You can just introduce yourself by saying, 'My name is Miyu. It's like me and you.'" As soon as I heard him say that I started to cry-- my simple 9-year-old brain told me that such way to introduce myself was not only ridicuous, but made me look like a fool. I vowed to myself that I would never use that way to explain my name.
I have tried to use "American" names before-- in my 7th grade year I was known as Cindy (my dad decided, though he argued that my name was "already nice")-- but that did not last longer than one semester. I was sick of people not remembering my name, but at the same time, I was sick of feeling like I was someone that I'm not.
As middle school ended and high school began, the opportunities to introduce myself lessened, maybe because high school was a very complicated, self-realizing period in my life. I was more reserved and rarely met anyone new.
Though the story of name in America does not sound like the happiest story to be ever told by an immigrant, I do get the kick out of the way Starbucks baristas spell it. Throughout the years, they have spelled my name like this:
meeyoo
myou
miu
meyo
miya
maya
miyou

and the list goes on. These days I just make up a name or say my boyfriend's name to save those poor baristas from confusion.
I'm happy to say, however, that I've learned to love my name. It's unique and I know that my parents have spent many hours trying to find the best name when I was born. I love my kanji, or the Chinese-origin letters, for my name as well. In the future I'm planning to get those characters tattooed on my ankles. Though it is tough to meet new people since I know that most of them would never remember my name, there are times when someone does remember and compliment it. Name is something that cannot be taken away from you no matter how poor or happy you are.
To add to my story-- I actually now introduce myself by saying, "My name is Miyu. It's like me and you." It turns out that my dad was right-- people remember more often when I say that!

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